virginitied:

when the test question says “describe what’s happening in the picture” but the picture be like

image

bombing:

walk into any starbucks and say “i can’t believe they’re doing a secret screening of the unreleased Wes Anderson movie down the street” then collect all the macbooks that everyone who just ran out left behind. keep your favorite one and sell any you don’t need

fuckyeahraimispiderman:

Still the best Spider-Man villain one-liner

moriarty:

why is it always ok for doctors to be late for your appointments

I dunno cause they’re freaking busy?

bustysaintclair:

Kids please don’t think that it’s unusual or special to be dating someone with whom you can watch netflix and eat pizza and hold hands and also have hot sex with

It concerns me when I see millions of notes on a post that’s like “fuck me hard but also be sweet with me”

Like what kinds of relationships are you in that you think this is a revolutionary thing to ask

rettaroo:

fiorinda-chancellor:

setbabiesonfire:

swallowedwholeinnegatives:

What does this mean?

That, my friend, is exactly the question you have to ask.

It means that this is one of the best ways to pile up rocks and not have them fall down for a long time.

  (via life-of-a-fanatic)

siderealscion:

mALEFISHIENT, MARK

ive been meaning to make work-related comics forever, so enjoy some choice movie title bastardizations.

(these all actually, seriously, happened, with no humor or awareness on the part of the customer at the time as far as I could tell. so, yes, someone actually asked for a ticket to “Detergent” with a straight face.)

marauders4evr:

marauders4evr:

asyouaredrivingmehome:

Do you ever wonder how Hogwarts would travel to another school for the Triwizard Tournament cause I think about it all the time

image

If people ask me about the risks of night-blogging, I’m screen-capping this entire post and sending it to them as a reminder that if you blog when you’re half-asleep, you might accidentally create/post a picture of Hogwarts flying with balloons on its towers as a reply to some poor blogger’s innocent question.

fussybabybitch:

usatoday:

Is there anything better than Free Slurpee Day?

Access to basic health care

fussybabybitch:

usatoday:

Is there anything better than Free Slurpee Day?

Access to basic health care